pre-marital therapy
Fostering Healthy Relationships
Building a strong foundation in your relationship before getting married can be one of the greatest gifts you can give to yourself and your significant other. You may feel like your relationship is overall in a good place and you do not need to work on it. However, every couple has blind spots in their relationship, and everyone can learn how to better communicate.
Benefits of Pre-marital Counseling
Better communication patterns
In my sessions, I teach non-violent communication where you will both learn how to communicate any concerns or disagreements with your partner in a way that will be well received, and how to better receive your partner’s disagreements or concerns. We often view disagreements and arguing as a symptom that something is wrong in the relationship when they are really just opportunities to learn and grow in your relationship. It all depends on how you communicate. Did you know that when you are feeling frustrated, angry, defensive, and anxious your IQ drops 30 points? You also no longer operate from the rational part of your brain and your fight or flight response kicks in. If you find yourself or your partner doing this dance often and no longer being on the same team in the midst of an argument, then it might be time to consider counseling.
future planning
It is crucial that you and your partner be on the same page regarding what you want your future to look like. If one partner wants kids and the other partner does not, that could be a huge relationship-ending issue down the road. Sometimes we don’t think about these things at the beginning of a relationship since it does not seem relevant at the time. Pre-marital counseling is an opportunity for us to learn more about how our partner sees their future and allows us to realign and compromise so there are no big surprises in the future. In pre-marital counseling, we will talk about all things future planning, and address even the small things that you might not think to have a conversation about on your own.
Better intimacy
When you first start dating or get married, your sex life will most likely feel fun and exciting, but communication about sex can feel uncomfortable and most people are not equipped with the necessary knowledge to have a fruitful conversation about their needs for intimacy. Varying sex drives, fears of rejection, and lack of healthy communication about sex and intimacy can create anxiety and avoidance of sex. Pre-marital counseling will allow you to learn your partner’s sex drive, what intimacy looks like to them both sexual and non-sexual, and how to communicate any discrepancies without creating a divide between the 2 of you.
Mediation for ongoing relationship issues
If you seem to be having the same problems over and over again and do not feel like the issues are ever being resolved, nipping them in the bud before getting married will set you up for success. We are often blind to our own patterns. Pre-marital counseling allows you and your partner to have an outside perspective on your ongoing patterns so you can both clearly see what is going on, and how you can work together as a team to develop healthier patterns of interaction that will lead to beneficial conversations that do not devolve into heated arguments where you both feel frustrated and unheard.
Foundational relationship support
Pre-marital counseling also helps you to create a strong relationship foundation where you can learn how to best support one another in the good times and the bad. If you came from a home where healthy relationship patterns were not modeled for you, then you might not have the best blueprint for a healthy relationship, and toxic patterns might look like love to you. Pre-marital counseling helps you create that blueprint together so you can create a relationship that works for you instead of perpetuating the patterns you learned growing up.
An accepting space to address concerns
Your sessions are tailored to you and your partner’s needs. There is never any judgment allowed in sessions, and it is a 50-minute session dedicated to you feeling fully heard, validated, and accepted. If you think about it, there aren’t many other places where we get that, and if you lead a busy life, it might be hard to find the time to nurture your relationship in this way as often as you should. Therapy creates the opportunity for you both to be fully present with one another and fully supported in your needs.
Fostering Healthy Relationships
Furthermore, when your relationship is going well is the best time to dive into topics that might feel heavy, and also understand why your relationship is going so well so that you can hold onto that for years to come. Every couple has specific patterns that they perpetuate in their relationship that cause friction, and pre-marital counseling can help you rewire that pattern to promote a long-lasting, healthy relationship to ensure that the small issues do not eventually erode your passion and love for one another.
